It’s been a while since my last post and I know why. Well, there are at least two reasons: #1: I relapsed and I am embarrassed and #2: I feel like I keep repeating myself and not changing. So, in an attempt to make a change, I’m writing even though I feel like a failure.Continue reading “Connecting the Dots”
Tag Archives: self-love
Do Something Differently
As we begin a new year, I reflect on the past one and anticipate the one ahead. What can I do differently this year to live the life I dream of? This is a familiar place, one I’ve visited many times before, one I’ve committed to living in and making my new home. But, theContinue reading “Do Something Differently”
You Seem Fine
“You seem fine. I mean, I would never know you have such bad anxiety. You seem okay.” “I am fine. I mean, I am okay. But, I suffer from obsessive, intrusive thoughts. I worry all the time. I can’t seem to get out of my own way no matter how hard I try. I haveContinue reading “You Seem Fine”
Enough
It’s hard to explain what it feels like to be overcome with anxiety in any given moment, especially to someone who has never experienced it. In the moment, an intense fear overcomes me, paralyzes me, consumes me, and I become somewhat unable to function. It’s like I’m half-awake and dreaming, knowing I’m in a dreamContinue reading “Enough”
Things I Worry About
I’ve been overweight since the fifth grade. That’s 36 years of yo-yo dieting, binge eating, feeling insecure, and worrying about my weight. 36 years of not doing the things I want to do or trying the things I’ve always wanted to try. 36 years of being afraid to be who I am, of being afraidContinue reading “Things I Worry About”
I Am More
I have experienced so many conflicting emotions over the past few weeks and my current situation is making me very anxious and overwhelmed. There’s so much going on that, unfortunately, I can’t get the professional treatment I need right now to address the eating disorder. So, here I am feeling heavy, gross, and just downrightContinue reading “I Am More”
On Being Too Good
Do you think someone can be too good? My husband has told me on several different occasions that he thinks I’m just too good, too good to other people, too nice. I remember being a little taken aback the first time he said it to me and I laughed it off and replied, “How couldContinue reading “On Being Too Good”
The Diet Mentality
Breaking free from the diet mentality is hard. Here I am, the day after Easter and not even a week after we buried my grandmother. My whole life feels out of control. I feel lost, alone, and overwhelmed. One thing I’m sure of right now is that I want to lose weight. I contemplate gettingContinue reading “The Diet Mentality”
Today
As I stare at this blank page, I realize I can either choose to fear the unknown, the vast uncertainty that lies ahead, or I can embrace the excitement that the unknown brings with it. I can choose to get overwhelmed as I stare at the blank page wondering what I am going to writeContinue reading “Today”
Overweight, Anxious, and Done 