Tag Archives: healing

A Day in the Life

Today, I am shattered glass spread across the floor in so many pieces that my original form is unrecognizable. I am broken without the possibility of repair. Today, life is hopeless, barren, and suffocating. There is no possible end that will satisfy me. I can’t see a path that gets me where I want toContinue reading “A Day in the Life”

I Am More

I have experienced so many conflicting emotions over the past few weeks and my current situation is making me very anxious and overwhelmed. There’s so much going on that, unfortunately, I can’t get the professional treatment I need right now to address the eating disorder. So, here I am feeling heavy, gross, and just downrightContinue reading “I Am More”

My Plan to Beat a Panic Attack

It’s only been happening at night. For the past few days, around 6 or 7pm, my chest starts to feel heavy, I feel like I can’t breathe, and my body begins to go numb. My mind immediately tells me I am either having a stroke or a heart attack. I announce to my husband thatContinue reading “My Plan to Beat a Panic Attack”

Everyday Body

49 days. It seems like such a long time when I count the actual days, but realistically it’s only about a month and half. Still, 49 days without a binge, without concealing food and stuffing it down my throat in private, is a big thing. And I’m proud of myself. Every day I battle withContinue reading “Everyday Body”

The Diet Mentality

Breaking free from the diet mentality is hard. Here I am, the day after Easter and not even a week after we buried my grandmother. My whole life feels out of control. I feel lost, alone, and overwhelmed. One thing I’m sure of right now is that I want to lose weight. I contemplate gettingContinue reading “The Diet Mentality”

Just A Symptom

I first started Weight Watchers when I was sixteen years old. I wanted to lose about thirty pounds. I lost that weight easily and quickly and felt beautiful, sexy, and healthy. I swore by that program, as it worked for me. It changed my life. Twenty-nine years later, I still have the WW app onContinue reading “Just A Symptom”