Author Archives: overweightanxiousanddone

A Day in the Life

Today, I am shattered glass spread across the floor in so many pieces that my original form is unrecognizable. I am broken without the possibility of repair. Today, life is hopeless, barren, and suffocating. There is no possible end that will satisfy me. I can’t see a path that gets me where I want toContinue reading “A Day in the Life”

I Am More

I have experienced so many conflicting emotions over the past few weeks and my current situation is making me very anxious and overwhelmed. There’s so much going on that, unfortunately, I can’t get the professional treatment I need right now to address the eating disorder. So, here I am feeling heavy, gross, and just downrightContinue reading “I Am More”

On Being Too Good

Do you think someone can be too good? My husband has told me on several different occasions that he thinks I’m just too good, too good to other people, too nice. I remember being a little taken aback the first time he said it to me and I laughed it off and replied, “How couldContinue reading “On Being Too Good”

My Plan to Beat a Panic Attack

It’s only been happening at night. For the past few days, around 6 or 7pm, my chest starts to feel heavy, I feel like I can’t breathe, and my body begins to go numb. My mind immediately tells me I am either having a stroke or a heart attack. I announce to my husband thatContinue reading “My Plan to Beat a Panic Attack”

Everyday Body

49 days. It seems like such a long time when I count the actual days, but realistically it’s only about a month and half. Still, 49 days without a binge, without concealing food and stuffing it down my throat in private, is a big thing. And I’m proud of myself. Every day I battle withContinue reading “Everyday Body”

The Diet Mentality

Breaking free from the diet mentality is hard. Here I am, the day after Easter and not even a week after we buried my grandmother. My whole life feels out of control. I feel lost, alone, and overwhelmed. One thing I’m sure of right now is that I want to lose weight. I contemplate gettingContinue reading “The Diet Mentality”

Just A Symptom

I first started Weight Watchers when I was sixteen years old. I wanted to lose about thirty pounds. I lost that weight easily and quickly and felt beautiful, sexy, and healthy. I swore by that program, as it worked for me. It changed my life. Twenty-nine years later, I still have the WW app onContinue reading “Just A Symptom”

“Just” Anxiety

“It’s just anxiety. Relax. It’s not like you have a real problem.” “Anxiety isn’t a medical condition.” “People should not be able to have a service dog for anxiety. Service dogs are for people who have actual medical conditions.” They don’t even attempt to conceal the eye rolls, the condescending smirks, or the ignorant commentsContinue reading ““Just” Anxiety”