Today, I am shattered glass spread across the floor in so many pieces that my original form is unrecognizable. I am broken without the possibility of repair. Today, life is hopeless, barren, and suffocating. There is no possible end that will satisfy me. I can’t see a path that gets me where I want to be. Recovery is not possible for me. I will feel like this, look like this, BE like this for the rest of my life. There is simply no way out.
Today, I am a child of the universe. I am loved beyond what I ever thought I could be. Today, life is promising, uplifting, and magical. I am on my way to being who I want to be. My path is clear and I traverse it with confidence. Recovery is a process, but I am experiencing it now. I already feel better, look better, and AM better. I am reaching my fullest potential.
Today, I am a limp branch dangling from a tall, strong oak tree swaying in the wind during the height of the storm. I will fall and break while the rest of the world tramples on me. Today, life is frightening, lonely, and crushing. I am not strong enough to withstand the pressure. I don’t have what it takes to overcome this. I am unimportant, frail, and pathetic. I’m not going to make it.
Today, I am Athena, protecting my troops and leading them to certain victory. I will forge ahead with courage and faith. Today, life is manageable, attainable, and promising. I am able to conquer all that attempts to take me down. I am an unbreakable force that commands respect. I am strong, courageous, and invincible. I am a fighter who overcomes. I have a strength inside me that makes me unstoppable.
Today, I hate the way I look and who I am. I am uncomfortable in my own skin and don’t like myself. Today, life is unfair, cruel, and punishing. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, or funny enough for anyone to possibly like me. I am gross, obese, and insecure. All people see when they look at me is how big I am. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror when I pass it because I am so embarrassed about the way I look.
Today, I love myself and my body. I may not be where I want to be, but I am grateful for my body for protecting me and keeping me healthy all these years. Today, life is precious, forgiving, and positive. I appreciate what I had to go through in the past to get to where I am today. I know it is my life’s lesson and that this is my journey. I am resilient, courageous, and determined. People see my perseverance and they respect my drive. I am working on the body I want and the mindset I need.
Today, I experience all of these thoughts and feelings throughout the day. I usually do every day. Many people advise me to take it one day at a time, but that’s too long. I am just living in the moment right now, taking what I feel in that moment and processing it, dealing with it, and trying to make sense out of it. I feel pain, doubt, defeat, shame, love, gratitude, hope, and confidence all in the same day. My goal is not to take it one day at a time. My goal is to feel more moments of love, gratitude, hope, and confidence today than I feel moments of pain, doubt, defeat, and shame. One moment at a time.
Overweight, Anxious, and Done 